carole's corner

i used to be obsessed with pinterest, almost to the point of addiction. i’d constantly refresh my feed, perfectly curating board after board. i’d think on new ideas as i went to sleep, dreaming of the aesthetically pleasing thing i’d create in the morning.

but, since getting to college, i’ve mostly stopped. no, i haven’t been on my beautiful italian vacation or gotten into a long-term relationship. my style isn’t insta-worthy and my hair is still the same blunt bob and boring brown color. i haven’t gotten to the place my pinterest dreamed of, but i’m in a new “perfect” place.

i worked myself up to the point of throwing up the last night i stayed in my hotel room with my cousin and aunt before moving into the dorms. i spent endless hours watching youtube videos on freshman advice and almost took notes. i was so afraid of leaving the comfort of my boarding school’s small, tight-knit community, terrified to discover what college had in store.

i made my pinterest all those years ago because i was in a place of wanting to be somewhere else. i maintained it because i thought i wouldn’t be enough, especially in the summer leading up to school. 

but, i’ve made friends. i wake up every day and see them at lunch or in the halls. we dream of future suites together, meeting up over breaks. we gossip and laugh and dance to music blaring out of our shitty computer speakers. i stay up late talking to new people about the most random, spur-of-the-moment ideas. 

and, through everything, i’ve become more confident. i smile when i see myself in the mirror and wear clothes because they’re fun, not because i look a little bit better in them. i no longer painstakingly fill in my eyebrows or spend fifteen minutes trying to cover up a pimple. my laugh has gotten louder and my chest has lifted ever so slightly. 

now, that’s not to say college has been smooth-sailing so far. i’ve had my fair share of drama and stress, but my support system has grown around me. i trust those around me in the all-in way. i’m trusting-falling my way through this new experience and, though i’ve neglected this space, i’m going to *try* to take you along on the fall from this point forward.