carole's corner

i’ve always been a cautious person. even in elementary school, i remember getting flares of anxiety whenever i did something that i knew probably wasn’t a good idea. this year, i’ve kind of taken a step back and thought a lot about my high school experience and all of the amazing experiences i’ve had.

and, i think (more subconscious than not) i realized that although i’m blessed with the high school experience i had, i wish i could’ve said yes to more things.

there were so many times that i sat at the exit for a rollercoaster i was afraid to go on or waited to jump off a rock while my friends swam in the lake beneath it. there were so many times that i didn’t let myself just ask if i could do something.

now, i wouldn’t go back and change anything because all of those decisions led me to where i am now, but out in the universe somewhere is a me who said “yes” just a couple times more.

but, something definitely clicked this summer. i haven’t gone out and jumped out of airplanes or anything, but i’ve let myself make a couple of spur-of-the-moment decisions.

this summer i:

• jumped off a pier without second guessing myself
• reached out to people that i wanted to see (without letting myself worry that they don’t want to actually see me)
• got my cartilage pierced because my friend and i passed a piercing shop
• bought purple hair dye and dyed my hair that night (unfortunately it didn’t show up)
• went ziplining
• cut my hair into a bob (kind of) after deciding to do so the night before i did it

now, to you, these may seem like pretty mundane things to be proud of yourself for doing. but, for me, these things would shock younger me.

to be honest, this post didn’t have a mapped out end, but i guess that’s the impulsivity in me.